17 July 2009

MUSICALS: USING GAY MUSIC AS MORAL BOOSTER


In my day, I was pretty well-known for running a tight ship and doing everything possible to maintain order and morale. On long, transpacific flights I'd often force my crews to sing along with me to great Gilbert & Sullivan musicals. One of my favorites is the H.M.S. Pinafore. A typical call and response dialogue between my flight crew and I might go something like this:


CAPT: My gallant crew, good morning.

ALL (saluting): Sir, good morning!

CAPT: I hope you're all quite well.

ALL: Quite well; and you, sir?

CAPT: I am in reasonable health, and happy to meet you all once more.

ALL: You do us proud, sir!

SONG -- CAPTAIN

CAPT: I am the Captain of the (state flight number and airline here);

ALL: And a right good captain, too!

CAPT: You're very, very correct,
And allow me to be direct,
I command a right good crew!

ALL: We're very, very good,
And be it understood,
He commands a right good crew.

CAPT: Though related to a peer,
I can recover from a stall, and steer,
And once in flight, although I'm sometimes pale ;
I am never known to quail
At the fury of a gale,
And I'm never, never sick at in the air!

ALL. What, never?

CAPT. No, never!

ALL. What, never?

CAPT. Hardly ever! (OK sometimes.)

ALL. He's hardly ever sick in the air!
Then give three cheers, and one cheer more,
For the hardy Captain of (state flight number and airline again)!